Written by: Allan W Janssen
Tags: bizarre, canada, canadian, celebrities, perspective, politics, shark, spotlight
Tags: bizarre, canada, canadian, celebrities, perspective, politics, shark, spotlight
Well folks, since the Ontario election is just two days away, I thought it was a good time for this story!
While walking down the street one day a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
‘Welcome to heaven,’ says St. Peter. ‘Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.’
‘No problem, just let me in,’ says the man.
‘Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.’
‘Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,’ says the MP.
‘I’m sorry, but we have our rules.’
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises….
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
‘Now it’s time to visit heaven.’
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
‘Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.’
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: ‘Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.’
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. ‘ I don’t understand,’ stammers the MP.
‘Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened? ‘
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, ‘ Yesterday we were campaigning.. …!
Today you voted!
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Justin Bieber recently got baptized in a New York City bathroom in the wake of the scandal involving the release of two videos showing Bieber dropping multiple N-bombs.
Celebrity Pastor Carl Lentz — who has worked with Bieber in the past — reportedly told TMZ he spent a week doing intense Bible study with Bieber last month, right after he was being extorted by whomever possessed the videos of Bieber telling racist jokes and using inflammatory language when he was in his midteens.Bieber’s reacquaintance with religion reportedly included studying passages in the Bible and attending services, and culminated in a baptism performed in a friend’s bathtub.
TMZ reported the reason Bieber got baptized in a bathtub was so he could keep things private. You know, until news of him dropping N-bombs went public and his people needed to leak a story about his rediscovering religion.
http://www.ydr.com/offbeat/ci_25928074/justin-bieber-gets-baptized-bathtub.html
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Prince George police have issued a BOLO — a “Be on the Lookout” advisory — for a six-foot-tall bunny suit.
Officials say the gray-and-white bunny costume was stolen from a storage shed in the 4600 block of Calvert Road in College Park overnight Friday.When officers arrived at the storage shed, they discovered the suit was the only item that had been taken.
You read that right, too.Not only that, this wasn’t the only animal story from the department.
Last week, an officer with the department helped a tortoise cross the road.
As they noted, they now need your help rescuing the hare.
So keep your eyes peeled for the bunny costume, complete with pink ears and a pink nose.
http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/weird/Police-On-The-Hunt-For-a-Missing-Bunny-Costume–262404011.html
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That British guy from “Drop Dead Fred” just dropped dead!
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Alberta Report!
Hey, in what a critic calls municipal overreach, the City of Calgary spent $21,000 sending three members of a prostitution task force on a tour of Denmark, Sweden and Norway ahead of the Harper government’s recently unveiled re-vamp of the prostitution laws. “That should be the role of the federal government,” said Derek Fildebrandt, the Alberta director of the Canadian Taxpayers’ Federation. “It’s generally not for a Canadian municipality………………., but somebody’s got to do it!”
The task force included a delegation for three city officials to examine prostitution legislation in other countries, in person, in March. The trip cost $21,000. The report analyzed the so-called “Nordic model” that has been implemented to varying degrees in those countries, which effectively criminalizes the purchase of sex.
“I don’t think there would be a problem if the Federation of Canadian Municipalities had jointly sent out a commission [to these countries] to examine the civic implications of the potential new prostitution laws for the country, but [the city of Calgary] is overstepping its jurisdiction by several orders of magnitude for them to commission a study on Canada’s prostitution laws,” said Mr. Fildebrandt.
http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/06/09/calgary-overstepped-its-role-when-it-spent-21000-studying-prostitution-laws-abroad-taxpayer-federation-says/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NP_Top_Stories+%28National+Post+-+Top+Stories%29
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New Brunswick Report
Well folks, the tree huggers and animal rights activists won another battle this week! An osprey nest built on a transmission line along the Oromocto River is being blamed for leaving about 9,000 NB Power customers without electricity on Monday.
People in Rusagonis, Fredericton Junction, Oromocto, Burton and Gagetown are affected by the outage.
NB Power has a program to build platforms to encourage the birds to build safely away from the lines, but it doesn’t always work, says Charles Hickman, director of environment and emergency planning for the utility. “The nests they build are big. They tend to use sticks that are about four, five, six feet long,” said Hickman. “They effectively hover over where they want to build their nest, then they drop the twig or the branch and start building the nest just by dropping twigs and branches on their preferred location. If they’re good shots, they’ll land on one of our nesting platforms we’ve put up for them,” he said. “Sometimes they choose to build their nest in another location and they’ll actually drop those twigs and branches right across our lines and short out the system.”NB Power works with biologists under provincial and federal regulations to deal with migratory birds in such cases. The only problem is that nothing can be done until the baby birds leave the nest, so residents will be without power for another month!
(The Perspective Naked News staff learned that a similar nest caused a severe power outage just a few block away last week, but during the night, and before the environmentalists got there, someone on that street took a shotgun and blasted the nest right off the lines!)The gridded streets, wharves and skyscrapers of Manhattan look like the work of ants in a new picture taken from far above.
An astronaut aboard the International Space Station snapped this photograph of New York City from about 220 miles (354 kilometers) up on May 5. The East River runs along the top of the photograph, and the Hudson River along the bottom. On the New Jersey side of the Hudson, a dark greenish line runs parallel to the river. This is the Palisades, a steep escarpment between 300 and 450 feet (91 to 137 meters) tall.
In the East River, between Manhattan and Queens, sits the slender Roosevelt Island, with the Ed Koch Queensboro Bridge running over it. Farther toward the tip of Manhattan, the Williamsburg Bridge, Manhattan Bridge and Brooklyn Bridge are visible crossing over the East River. [Earth from Above: 101 Stunning Images from Orbit]
This image was taken during the early afternoon, according to NASA’s Earth Observatory, which released the image today (June 9). Nevertheless, the shadows of some of the city’s tallest buildings can be seen, particularly in the Financial District toward the tip of the island, and in Midtown. Central Park appears as an orderly green rectangle, its 18-acre lake visible in blue. The bright dots scattered across the park are sports fields, according to Earth Observatory. Rectangular wharves line the banks of Manhattan, projecting into the Hudson River.
The steel-and-glass canyons of Manhattan align with the natural world a few times a year to create a phenomenon astronomer Neil DeGrasse Tyson has dubbed “Manhattanhenge.” Four times a year, the sun sets directly west of the island’s avenues, creating a golden glow that permeates the city. Two Manhattanhenge dates have already passed this year (May 29 and May 30), but hopeful skywatchers can look for the next occurrences on July 11 and July 12.
Manhattan’s future
As engineered as Manhattan is, it is still vulnerable. In 2012, Hurricane Sandy highlighted the dangers of flooding in the densely packed borough. The storm brought the largest recorded storm surge in history to New York City, with the high-water level at the southern tip of Manhattan reaching 13.88 feet (4.2 m).
As the globe warms and sea levels rise, such surges could become standard. One 2012 study published in the journal Nature Climate Change estimated that 100-year floods could hit Manhattan every three to 20 years by the end of the century. These floods that are now expected about once a century bring a surge of 5.3 feet (1.61 m) of water to The Battery, on Manhattan’s southern tip.
http://www.livescience.com/46207-manhattan-from-space-photo.html
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What wolfs down 9-foot great white shark like a steak dinner?
That’s what plagued researchers who had tagged a great white in Australia and found the tag washed up on a nearby beach four months later, Australia’s News Network reports. Tag data showed a sudden 1,902-foot plunge and a quick increase in temperature, the latter indicating time spent in an animal’s digestive system. “I was absolutely blown away,” says filmmaker Dave Riggs in a documentary coming from the Smithsonian Institute, Hunt for the Super Predator.
So what could attack and eat a 9 foot great white shark?
A 20 foot great white shark ……………., that’s what!
Read more: http://www.kgot.com/articles/weird-news-104673/mystery-monster-eats-great-white-shark-12440600#ixzz34FbzLGyK
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And finally: Folks, your oft jaded reporter thought he had heard everything …………., until this story came along!
Dropping your cellphone into a toilet is unfortunate—but in China, it can be tragic. A young woman dropped her new phone into an open-pit toilet Wednesday in Xinxiang city, Henan, and two people died after one attempted to retrieve it. The woman’s husband was the first to jump into the knee-deep cesspool to try and find the $320 phone, but he started having difficulty breathing and fainted, the South China Morning Post reports, citing a local newspaper. His mother then jumped in after him, and the same fate befell her. Both died of suffocation, and more were injured when others followed in an attempt
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