U.S. Invades Victoria!

Allan's Perspective

                                                                                 

                  

Dear Readers:
Victoria has a lot of tourists this weekend thanks to a visit from one of the world’s largest warships.
The USS Nimitz is anchored near the Canadian navy base in Esquimalt near B.C.’s capital.
The Nimitz is stopping in Victoria this weekend before conducting trials and testing at the Canadian military’s test range in Nanoose Bay.
The nuclear powered aircraft carrier is 316 metres long with a flight deck that is nearly 77 metres wide.
It operates roughly 80 aircraft and has a crew of roughly 2,200.
On top of sightseeing some of those crew members are serving lunch at a Victoria homeless shelter and will compete in sporting events with members of the Canadian navy.
Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/massive-u-s-aircraft-carrier-draws-a-crowd-during-visit-to-victoria-b-c-1.1869454#ixzz34ictFmgA
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Folks, I don’t know how I managed to do a morning show on the radio for all those years, because I’m certainly not a morning person!

When I woke up this morning
the dawn was soft and still
A little robin came and sat
upon my window sill
He tipped his head and looked at me
his eyes so bright and clear
He chirped a little melody
My morning thoughts to cheer
His song he sang so sweetly
Without a moments lull
I gently closed the window
and crushed his fucking skull.

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The Perspective Research Department has just discovered that herpes, as well as HIV, came from monkeys!

Maybe that’s why they took over the world in “Planet of the Apes.”

It was all a plot to wipe out humans!

About two-thirds of the human population is infected with at least one kind of herpes simplex virus, according to the researchers. HSV-1 commonly manifests itself as cold sores on the mouth or lips, whereas HSV-2 can cause blisters on the genitals.
Humans are also the only primate species that can be infected by more than one herpes simplex virus, the researchers said. [10 Deadly Diseases That Hopped Across Species]

In the study, the researchers compared human herpes viruses with those of other primates. They used advanced models of molecular evolution to estimate when and how exactly the viruses had diverged from each other, and how they were introduced into humans.

According to a previous hypothesis, HSV-1 was thought to have been introduced to humans “potentially from another ape species, like orangutans,” Wertheim said. And the split between HSV-2 and its chimpanzee counterpart was thought to have coincided with the split between humans and chimpanzees.

In contrast, the new study suggests that HSV-2 is the result of cross-species transmission to humans from ancestors of modern chimpanzees, and that HSV-1 is the result of a split between the human and chimpanzee viruses, he said.

Folks, what it all boils down to is the fact that some African has been fucking monkeys…… plain and simple!

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Folks, our Naked News department keeps getting reports about some sort of soccer match down in South America.

We have had several inquiries about this story, and can only conclude that people will watch just about anything when there’s no hockey!

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Well thank God for this: British Columbia’s police watchdog has cleared officers of criminal wrongdoing in the shooting death of a retired soldier in northern B.C. after reviewing evidence presented in a coroners inquest.

Greg Matters, who was being treated for post-traumatic stress disorder at the time, was shot and killed by RCMP during a standoff in September 2012 outside a home he shared with his mother near Prince George.

OH!

Did I mention that he was shot in the back?

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Speaking of soldiers:

The detained US soldier convicted of leaking a trove of secret documents to WikiLeaks made a rare foray into public life Saturday to warn Americans they were being lied to about Iraq once more.

Bradley Manning (Illegitimate son of Preston Manning) is serving a 35-year prison sentence on espionage charges and other offenses for passing along 700,000 secret documents, including diplomatic cables and military intelligence files, to anti-secrecy website WikiLeaks in the largest-scale leak in US history.

“I understand that my actions violated the law. However, the concerns that motivated me have not been resolved,” the soldier now known as Chelsea Manning wrote in a New York Times editorial.
(Listen bunky, I personally think this kid did us all a great service …………….., but when he got a sex change and started calling himself Chelsea, I think he lost all credibility!)
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News from south of the border that President Barack Obama renewed his campaign to curb carbon emissions Saturday, saying the debate over climate change is over.

Congress “is full of folks who stubbornly and automatically reject the scientific evidence,” (Republicans) Obama told a crowd of more than 30,641 people, including thousands of graduates at the University of California, Irvine.

He stressed that climate change remains “one of the most significant long-term challenges” to the United States and the world.
That’s all well and fine kids, but he forgot to mention evolution, the age of the world, stem cell research, gay rights, gender equality, poverty, and a host of other issues that the Republicans seem to be blissfully unaware of …………….., of just happily ignore!
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The mayor of this unnamed town was caught on camera tossing dog poop onto the walkway of a political opponent, and he is being asked to resign by residents who say he smeared their image.

During a City Council meeting on Wednesday, residents blasted the Mayor and called for him to step down, even though he has apologized.

(The mayor says he found a bag of dog waste on a parkway Saturday and tossed it onto the front walkway of a home.)

Police cited him for littering, which can carry a fine of up to $1,000.

Now here’s the kicker, folks: The homeowner, Philip Lao, is a political opponent. He recognized the mayor on his surveillance video and called police.
(Do I detect some strong irony, as well as a smell, here?)
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And Finally: TO FLORIDA, where a 29-year-old Florida local Alonzo Liverman has been arrested for attempting to hire a prostitute with a salad.

The prostitute was a Daytona Beach Police Department officer.
No, she wasn’t moonlighting for extra beans. She was undercover, trapping people looking for rented sex.
Liverman was “operating a bicycle” when the officer approached him. He said he no money.“I’m hungry, you got food?” she said.
Liverman replied: “I got a salad.”
To which she responded (without checking for sign of salad dressing): “I’ll give you a blow job for a salad.” Liverman said: “O.K.!”
At which point she got the handcuff out.
(He mumbled something about the salad not having croutons or much in the way of extras as the reason for his arrest, but we all know it was because he is black!.)
His crime is to have “agreed upon the sexual act in exchange for food”.

He got sentenced to two days in jail and fined $500.

http://www.anorak.co.uk/400271/strange-but-true/man-arrested-for-agreeing-to-trade-his-salad-for-oral-sex-with-a-cop.html/

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And Finally: Those politically correct assholes are at it again.
There is a street here in Byron (London) that’s called Sanatorium Road!
Why? You ask!
Because there used to be a T.B. sanatorium on that street!
Now some of these left wing dip-shits want to change the name of the street because they say “sanatorium” has negative connotations to it!
You know, like bad vibes, man!
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