Oh, another Saturday and I’m so confused!
In typical left wing fashion, the Toronto Star did a front page commentary on the situation in Gaza!
Hidden deep inside the article was this one paragraph:
The simple truth is that the war crimes condoned during the past month by the leaders of both sides could have been avoided — if only the international community had the courage to intervene.
HOWEVER, the rest of this lengthy discourse went on and on about what a bunch of shits the Israelis were!
In every way possible, Netanyahu and his extreme right-wing government have worked to sabotage the notion of a “two-state” solution between Israelis and Palestinians — ignoring the very threat this will create for Israel’s future. But the international community has meekly acquiesced. Through its occupation and blockade, sustained by a military that is overwhelmingly funded by the U.S. and supported by other Western countries such as Canada, Israel has created an “open-air prison” in Gaza that can only produce despair and hopelessness among Palestinians. It is in this environment that a Hamas can thrive. By consistently humiliating and marginalizing Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, Netanyahu has undermined the entire moderate Palestinian cause. And it is in this political context that a Hamas can survive.
Not a very balanced article, but then again this is the Toronto Star we’re talking about!
There was, however, one sane and sober thought expressed, and on top of being sane and sober, it made a lot of sense for a sane and sober comment!
The wisest proposal emerging from the ashes of the past week came from Laurent Fabius, France’s foreign minister and a former French prime minister. He called on the international community to impose a solution on the two sides, saying they have shown themselves completely unable to negotiate.
Now this strikes your humble reporter as one of the most sane and sober comments to be heard about the situation in quite a while! (Or was that “Now this strikes your sane and sober reporter as one of the most humble comments to be heard about the situation in quite a while!”)
I’m so confused!

april01Folks, your long suffering reporter is getting sick and tired of all the assholes from Nigeria trying to scam me by using religious platitudes to make me think they are God fearing, pious, humble and devout holy men, instead of just out to fuck me any way they can!
As soon as I see: PEACE OF THE LORD BE WITH YOU I want to take the next plane over to Nigeria, look up the guy who sent this e-mail, and punch him right in the face!
Not a very Christian thing to do, but it would go a long way towards instilling the Peace of the Lord within ME!
(I just realized that Nigeria is one of the places that has an Ebola outbreak..............................., so forget it, I'm not going near the place!)
We just got a letter into the Perspective Research Department that said Ebola is God's punishment for being black ........., or Muslim! Or maybe both? Can't really comment of this one folks, because that has about as much legitimacy as saying AIDS is God's punishment for being Gay!

The biggest and brightest full moon of the year — a dazzling “super-moon” — will rise tomorrow (Aug. 10).
(This happens when the moon’s orbit, which is not perfectly circular, occurs during the closest approach to Earth in many years)
1144045-Cartoon-Of-A-Chorus-Line-Of-Naked-Men-Dancing-The-Can-Can-Royalty-Free-Vector-ClipartMatter of fact, rumour has it, according to the Perspective Naked News Department, that planes are being advised to fly at a lower altitude during this period!
Folks, every once in a while the only reason I put an article on these pages is for the is for the shock value!
On June 17th, the BBC will debut a new documentary, The Girl Who Talked to Dolphins. It’s the story of Margaret Howe Lovatt, who in the 1960s took part in a NASA-funded research project, in which she developed an unusual relationship with a dolphin named Peter. A relationship that at times became sexual.
The emotional attachment between humans and animals is well documented. Like any animal and human who spend long amounts of time together, a dolphin trainer could say they “love” their dolphin, but this does not excuse nor open the door for zoophilia or delphinophilia. While I am a dolphin enthusiast, I am also a firm believer that humans and dolphins should not have sex.
Investigating the case of Margaret Howe Lovatt and Peter the dolphin, it was a relationship that started out of a logistical problem. In 1964, Lovatt was working on an experiment to try to teach Peter how to communicate with humans. (A dolphin to human translator is still in the works today.) She literally moved in with him for three months, sleeping next to the tank, and working on a desk that hung over the water where he swam. They spent a great deal of time together, and as Peter was a sexually maturing adolescent dolphin, he often had sexual urges at inconvenient times.
As it turns out, it’s very difficult to teach a dolphin to talk when he is aroused. Lovatt found that Peter “would rub himself on my knee, my foot or my hand.” She allowed it, “I wasn’t uncomfortable — as long as it wasn’t too rough. It was just easier to incorporate that and let it happen, it was very precious and very gentle, Peter was right there, he knew that I was right there.”
In order to satisfy Peter’s increasing sexual urges, he would be transported to another pool with two female dolphins. This was a logistical nightmare and it disrupted his communication lessons constantly. Eventually, Lovatt took it upon herself to relieve Peter of his urges, rather than going through the long and inconvenient process of transporting him, “It would just become part of what was going on, like an itch, just get rid of that scratch and we would be done and move on.”
Sexual acts between dolphins and humans have a history. Malcolm Brenner wrote the book Wet Goddess about his nine-month long relationship with a dolphin. At the Nottingham Trent University, Dr. Mark Griffiths has studied delphinophiles (humans sexually attracted to dolphins.) There are also a number of blogs and online communities dedicated to the study and appreciation of dolphin sex. (Note: this link is graphic and contains details of zoophilia, click at your discretion.)
The relationship between Lovatt and Peter was certainly unnatural, but not unheard of. Still, I strongly urge you to stay away from dolphins in a sexual capacity, even if you believe they turn into handsome men at night.
You can watch the full clip below and see more previews on the BBC’s YouTube page.

Don’t read this one if ya have a weak stomach, kids!
Crews in a community on Newfoundland’s Burin Peninsula weren’t expecting a messy operation when they started hauling a humpback whale carcass off the beach, but that’s what they got.
Yup, they dug a pit and tried to drag the whale into it …………, but the damned thing fell apart and oozed all over the beach!

The beach has been closed until further notice!

“Parents, have you ever imagined your child masturbating?” the advertisement reads. “Do you worry what they do when your back is turned?
Do you fear that they will fall into the grip of Satan?
Worry no more!
Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross®!”
STOP Masturbation Now is a Christian organization dedicated to “educating the world about the dangers of self-rape.”
“Masturbation is a gateway drug to rape,” the organization’s website reads. “It also leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease.”
To help promote its anti-masturbatory agenda, STOP Masturbation Now has begun marketing the Anti-Masturbation Cross for the low, low price of $199.00, available for purchase on its website…
Check out this totally serious (and totally ridiculous) antigay propaganda distributed by “Christian” hate groups.


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