Sunday Morning Funnies: Points to Ponder!

APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE OR CLEVER OBSERVATION OR A GENERAL TRUTH.

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2.. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all..

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs..

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without..

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. - Like this: It could be a right number.

13. No one ever says 'It's only a game.' when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17.. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?   And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!

18.. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!

Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, don't mind. And the one's that mind, don't matter.

Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

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Subject: Farmer's Math.

A farmer died leaving his 17 horses to his three sons.

When his sons opened up the Will it read:

My eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total horses;

My middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) of the total horses;

My youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the total horses.

As it's impossible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9,

the three sons started to fight with each other.

So, they decided to go to a farmer friend who they considered quite smart,

to see if he could work it out for them.

The farmer friend read the Will patiently, and after giving due thought

he brought one of his own horses over and added it to the 17. 

That increased the total to 18 horses.

Now, he divided the horses according to their father's will.

Half of 18 = 9. So he gave the eldest son 9 horses.

1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the middle son 6 horses.

1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the youngest son 2 horses.

Now add up how many horses they have:

Eldest son  9

Middle son  6

Youngest son  2

TOTAL = 17

Now this leaves one horse over, so the farmer friend takes his horse back to his farm.

Problem solved!