The American orders a beer and sits down. When the bartender serves him his beer, he tells him it’s a lager. Instead of trying to understand what this so called ‘Lager’ is, the American opens fire on the bartender as his intelligence has been insulted. The American then declares war on the Middle East under the guise of spreading democracy.
The Englishman orders a Lager and takes his seat. He is a laborer and is a union worker. The other union workers are from all over Europe, places like Italy, Germany, France, Austria and various others. The Englishman was very old and decided that the union wasn’t right for him and promptly attempted to leave. The other union members tried to get him to stay but he merely exclaimed, “You lot are no longer invited for tea and scones.”
The Irishman ordered a pint of Guinness and sat down. The bartender offered him a lottery ticket as he was the 10,000th customer. The Irishman scratched the lottery ticket with his 4 leaf clover and found out he had just won a million dollars! Surprisingly he was not interested and simply gave the ticket to the bartender as a tip. He followed the rainbow home and slept peacefully with his pot of gold and two leprechaun wives.
The Welshman walked in to the bar and the bartender asks him where he was from. “Wales” he replied. “What’s that?” said the bartender. “It’s a country in the United Kingdom, it’s also part of Great Britain.” The bartender looked confused, the Welshman sighs and says “It’s a place, west of England.”
The Scotsman walks in to the bar and asks for a glass of Scotch. The bartender apologizes and says they only have Whiskey. The Scotsman get’s really upset and raises his Kilt as if to say “Oh it’s about to go down, unless you get me mi dam Scotch lassie!” The bartender, also angered, shouts back “The Lochness monster isn’t real!” The Scotsman is charged with the murder of the bartender.
The Canadian has a seat at the bar and orders a large coffee. The bartender tells him that they don’t serve coffee, they only serve alcohol. The Canadian, shocked, exclaims “Isn’t this Tim Hortons?!” The bartender says, “No” and the Canadian profusely apologizes. He walks out of the bar after obtaining from the bartender, directions to the nearest Ice Hockey Rink.
The Australian walks in to the bar and orders himself a beer. When it arrives, he pulls out a live scorpion from his shirt pocket and squeezes a couple of drops of venom into it before gulping down the whole drink in one go. He then stabs himself with the stinger of the scorpion and smashes the empty beer glass on his head. He screams loudly as he rides off into the outback on his Kangaroo.
The New Zealander rides to the bar on his pet kiwi. He orders himself a beer and drinks it peacefully. He leaves the bar after a couple of drinks and then goes back home. He lives only slightly south of the Australian however, the New Zealander is never seen again. Hiding in plain sight, he is constantly over looked. “I’m right here!” he shouted one day. The only response he heard was a conversation in the distance..
“Where did that sound come from?”
“Probably nowhere man, let’s go to Australia.”
A single tear rolled down the New Zealanders cheek.
The way I see it anyway!
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