The left-wing is crazy and the right-wing scares the shit out of me!

Allan's Perspective is NOT recommended for the politically correct, or the overly religious. Some people have opinions. Some people have convictions......... What we offer is PERSPECTIVE!




Saturday, 29 January 2011

HELP!

Your ever helpful scribe got this in the BlogsCanada.ca mail today! (I swear it's true!)

(Out of courtesy to the lady, and to protect the innocent,  I am not going to give even her first name here!)

Message: "What a great site!!! How can I get my Blog listed on this site? Thanks!"

In reply to this, your patient author sent this instruction!

"Register!"

This brought the following response;

"Sorry, technology is not my strongest suit!"

Soooooo, ever faithful, your writer gave this reply;

You have to register, so that we can download your RSS feed!

Which, of course, put the ball back in her court;

What does RSS feed mean???

Still not wanting to let the lady down, your diligent composer replied:.

That supplies the content from a blog!

This necessitated a further query!

OK ...but what is that you are looking for there? The title of the blog? The website address????

By this time your long suffering Author is starting to get extremely frustrated at the prospects of this turning out favourable in any way, so I decided on another approach to the problem.

I'm sorry ******,  but get someone to show you! This is not a computer course, and it's too hard to explain everything like this with your level of knowledge!

Thank You;

Allan W Janssen
BlogsCanada.ca

NOW! I have to admit, dear reader, that the whole time I was conversing with this woman, the urge to resort to  this old joke was almost irresistible...........!


"WordPerfect Technical Desk, may I help you?"


"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

".............Okay, here it is.

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in through the window"

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."










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