I am sitting here trying to decide whether this story is about a bunch of ducks and geese, or about the old guy that has appointed himself their guardian. (I guess I better start at the beginning and set the scene for you!)

I live in a suburb of London called Byron, which is at the western edge of town, and here in Byron is a park called Springbank Park, which runs along the Thames river about 10 km to downtown, and then splits, one part going to the east end of the city, and a second runs north 5 km to the University. (It sort of forms a big ‘Y’ downtown!)

This is a beautiful park which most cities would give just about anything to have, and that is not lost on us citizens in the slightest.

The only thing wrong with this setting are the ducks and geese that populate the park!

Now I have to explain that some birds, like crows for instance, are super smart, and some, like Parrots and Cockatoos, can actually talk and hold a conversation with humans, so ya know they got something on the ball!

GEESE, on the other hand………………………, are idiots! (They are the original poster child for the expression “bird brains!” and unfortunately the park has thousand of them!)

For some reason these birds have developed a habit of sitting on the walkways and roads in the park instead of on the grass, and all day long they do nothing but sit and shit, and then shit and sit, all over the road!



The worst part is they ALSO have a sense of misplaced entitlement, which means they don’t get out of the way when ya drive towards them!

Enter the old guy!

This guy has appointed himself the guardian and protector of the ducks and geese in the park, and can be seen on a regular basis holding up his hands to stop cars so that these foul / fowl weather friends can avoid getting killed!  (I normally slow down for them, but still drive fast enough that they have to scramble to get out of the way!)

On the half a dozen times I have encountered their caretaker [sic] he always swears at me and shakes his fist for not coming to a dead stop and letting the birds wander in front of me at their own pace! (He actually stood in front of my car on one occasion and accused me of trying to kill the birds, which was total nonsense ….., but I did tell him that if he didn’t get out of the way, I would run HIM over!

Anyway, I digress ………., today I was driving through the park and there was a little red Honda stopped in the middle of the road, and a bunch of ducks and geese were sitting on the pavement in front of the car……………, and it looked like nobody was going anywhere in hurry!

SO! I drove around the little red Honda, (and also scattered the birds) but as I passed the car and looked at the driver, I saw it was my old friend the “caretaker!”

Then, as his car dwindled in my rear view mirror, I saw that he was still swearing and shaking his fist at me!

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