IF
YOU ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again;
you'll begin to think you're a genius.
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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's
Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever,
would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever,
because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live
forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I
would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss
USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those
poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to
be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed,
you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview
to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
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"I've never had major knee surgery
on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings,
Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion
Barry, Washington , DC .
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to
be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in
Texas .
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"It isn't pollution that's harming
the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing
it.."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love California . I
practically grew up in Phoenix .."
-- Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask
ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"We don't necessarily discriminate.
We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"Your food stamps
will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed
away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your
circumstances."
--Department of Social Services,
Greenville , South Carolina
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"Traditionally, most of Australia
's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they
can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead,
there'll be a record"
-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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